I'm Dead Without You
by nightlocksalad
Summary: 2 Part Clato One Shot: Cato and Clove come to a disagreement on who gets to go to the feast, but when it finally comes time to go, Clove is the only one ready. When Cato finds Clove dead, he finds his biggest regret. Not being there to save her. After dealing with her death, Cato tries to keep his promise, but does he succeed? What was the real why he gave up at the Cornucopia?
1. Part 1: Clove's Death

"Cato!" She yelped, through a fit of laughter. "Cato! Stop that!" She curled up in a pile of leaves that had fallen from the trees nearby as she laughed. "Come on, Cato! Please, stop!"

"All right, all right." I smirked, as I stopped tickling her. After a short pause, I continued on speaking. "You know.. We can win this thing, Clove. We could both go home. As long as we can kill the others."

"I know.." She muttered as she gathered up all her stuff. "I know, Cato."

"I know we can win. We're deadly, vicious, unstoppable…" I began to brag, "We got this."

"Being a little cocky now, aren't we?" She snorted, giving me a small smile as she reorganized the knives in her jacket. "You never know, Cato. We're down to the final 6. The others have survived through everything, so we can't be sure. They're fighting in here as well. I mean, the Star-Crossed Lovers of District Twelve? Yeah, we can kill them. I can assure you that we can kill them. They're just avoiding everything. They never deal with anything themselves, really. Lover Boy is just following the fighter. The fighter is just following the path of others. Letting everyone else save her. So I guarentee you that we can kill them. But the others? The big one from Eleven and the sneaky one from Five? How are we gonna get them? Think about that, Cato."

"Trust me, Clove." I assured her. "We can do this. We will win. We are going home. I promise."

"Attention, tributes, attention!" A voice boomed throughout the arena. "Commencing at sunrise, there will be a feast tomorrow at the Cornucopia. Now hold on. Some of you may be declining my invitation. But this is no ordinary feast. Each of you needs something desperately. Each of you will find that something in a backpack marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia, at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!"

"Cato!" Clove began to squeal in excitement. "There's a feast! Everyone's probably going to be there! We can kill them there!"

"I heard," I replied, looking down at my sword, thinking of whether it was a good idea. "I'll go, okay? You stay here and guard our stuff."

"No, Cato. I'm going." She demanded, her excitement fading from her expression. "I'm going, and I'm killing Twelve. I swear to you, Cato. I swear on my life."

"But—" I cut myself off. I looked up from my sword, changing my gaze to meet hers. "I can't let anything happen to you, Clove. You're my best friend."

"That's sweet, Cato. But I'll be fine." She looked a little disappointed as she rolled her eyes. She ran her fingers through her tangled, wet dark brown hair, brushing out the knots. She brought her hair up into a high ponytail before she continued. "Don't worry about me."

"I rolled my eyes, giving an almost silent sigh as I collapsed against a rock. "We need to rest up for tomorrow.. Wake me up in time for the feast, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." She sighed, leaning against the rock opposite of me.

By the time I woke up the next morning, Clove was gone. She was nowhere in sight.

"Clove?" I muttered, sleepishly. "Where are you?"

It took me a few moments to realize where she'd gone. It finally hit me that she'd gone to the feast when I heard her and snapped back into reality

"Cato!" She screamed, with pure horror in the tone of her voice. "Cato!"

"Clove!" I called back to her as I took off towards the Cornucopia. But I was too late. Eleven was running off with his bag as well as ours, but I ran straight towards Clove, screaming her name. By the time I reached her I dropped down to her side, clutching her hand in mine, words just pouring from my mouth. "Clove, stay with me. Please stay. Don't give up. I know you can do this. We can go home. Please, Clove. Don't give up on me. Not now. A few tears slid down my cheek as I tightened my grip on her hand. I looked down and watched the life drain from her eyes. "Come on, Clover. Don't give up. Keep fighting. Just stay with me. We can get trough this. Please, Clove. I —"

I stopped short, hearing the sound of a canon firing, and I knew it was for Clove.

That she was dead. Really dead.

"No.." I whispered, as the tears began streaming down my face. I've failed. All I wanted was to keep her alive, whether it meant I risk my life for her or not. "I'm so sorry, Clover. I shouldn't have let you go. I should have gone. I should have at least gone with you. I should have gotten up earlier. This is all my fault." I brushed her hair back out of her face, neatly placing her ponytail along her right side. I gently wiped away the dried blood from her face and neck, and attempted the shoulder but it was no use. I gently kissed her cold, lifeless lips before saying, "I'm so sorry I let this happen. I love you, Clove. I know it's no use saying it now, but I love you so much."

After what seemed like several agonizing hours of just me talking about all the times we've spent together, both in the arena and outside of it when we were kids, I'd finally let go. I knew I couldn't stay here forever. She'd always be with me in my heart, right? I quickly kissed her forehead and whispered, "Goodbye, Clove. I'll see you soon. I'm dead without you, anyway." then left, after placing her arms across her stomach.

I set off in search for the tribute from Eleven. He's the only one that could actually lift that rock, besides Lover Boy, let alone smash it in someone's skull.

My last wish is to avenge Clove's death.


	2. Part 2: Cato's Death

The rain was pouring down, each drop slamming against my shoulders as if it were a weight. I stormed throughout the arena in search for my girls killer- Thresh. The thunder roared, my heart beat sped up in angst as I caught a glimse of his head and jacket through the tall grass. I slipped into the grassy area, my entire body flushed with rage. Now was the time I avenged Clove's death. Now was the time I proved my love for her. Now was the time I had to prove myself.

I took a running start towards Thresh, swinging my sword and slashing him across his stomach. Except it didn't do anything but bounce back and fling out of my hands and across the field. Thresh spun around, grabbed me and smashing me into the dirt. I scrambled up onto my feet, and grabbed him around the waist, easily flipping him over with a single movement.

I gazed at the sky for a moment, flashing back to the time at training school when I first saw Clove. She had slightly curly dark brown hair with bangs. I was doing hand-to-hand combat while she was doing her knife throwing. I got distracted, and Quinton had said, '_Never look away from the opponent._' after throwing me down to the ground.

I quickly switched my gaze to Thresh, who was getting ready to take me down, when I quickly grabbed his arm in attempt to flip him over once again, but my attempt failed, and I was the one being flipped over. I scrambled backwards, feeling the ground in hopes I'd find my sword, but it was no use. I couldn't find it. I quickly got up and looking around me, and there it was. My sword was a couple yards away. I quickly rushed over and grabbed it, but by the time I got back, Thresh had out Clove's knife. He sprung at me and sliced open my lower left arm. I winced a bit from the pain, but it went numb after a second. Luckily he didn't cut where I'd bleed to death. But I'd been standing there for only a few seconds when he came up again, slicing my left cheek.

I swung my sword at his hand, only trying hit away the knife. I dropped the sword, and leaped onto Thresh, pinning him onto the ground with all of my body weight. We both stuggled, but for different reasons. I was trying to keep him down, while he was trying to get back up. I brought my right arm up across his neck, and pressed my forearm down. With my free hand, I reached down to my belt and pulled off one of the knives I kept there. I lifted my right arm up a bit to help me balance, and slowly cut a sketchy line across his right cheek.

"And this is where the audience goes nuts," I growled, as I cut another sketchy line across his left cheek. "Just letting you suffer. That's the fun of watching for them."

"She deserved to die," He said, as he spat a mixture of blood and saliva up in my face. "And so do you."

Furious, I slammed my fist down as hard as I could on his shoulder, causing a rather loud cracking noise from the bones. He smirked, as if it caused no pain to him and nothing more than a tickle. I gripped the knife in my hand and simply cut off his jacket. I wasn't wasting any time here. When I finally removed the jacket, he struggled to get away, but my reflexes sent one of my fists flying in his left temple as hard as I could, leaving him unconcious for a few moments.

For the amount of time he was out, I'd had enough time to remove all his armor and retrieve my sword before he regained conciousness. I'd already had him pinned to the ground by my knees by the time he woke.

"You know what's one of the most painful ways to die?" I muttered, having the tip of the sword pressed against his heart. The blade had just bit into his skin, the blood slowing trickling down the side of his body and into the dirt. He winced as I pressed down more on the sword. "Quick and painless? Not a good idea, I'm putting on a show here. Slow and painful would just work out great."

I pressed down on the sword, the blade digging deeper into Thresh's body, and then I felt the tip hit something, an organ maybe? Probably his heart. I slammed down on the sword, bursting apart his heart, causing the blood to ooze out everywhere. He screamed in pure terror caused by the agonizing pain he was in. I looked up at the sky, and closed me eyes. For the moment, I swore she was with me. Wrapping her arms around me, smiling, laughing.. Not how she was in the arena. How she was back home. I could just feel her presence. Like she was trying to reassure me of something. I wasn't sure what it was she was reassuring me of, though.

"Slow and painful," I mumbled to the ground, as I pulled out the sword from Thresh's heart, only to shove it back in from a different spot. I went and put on the armor Thresh had on, which fit me perfectly. Maybe the armor was in the District 2 bag, since he took our bag, it could have been.

After the cannon blasted, and the loud moaning and groaning ended, I yanked my sword out of Thresh's dead body and moved on. I began walking to mine and Clove's safe spot in the forest. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She's gone, and it's all my fault. I could of stayed up, or I could have agreed to letting her go if I went and hid in the trees. I could have done anything, but I didn't. I was too late.

I shook away the thoughts and began running to our safe spot. After about 300 yards, I came crashing into someone. She had messy red hair up in two buns, and her face somewhat resembled a fox. When we both had gotten up, she stood frozen in place watching the sword I had.

"Don't worry," I muttered, "I won't hurt you right now. I'm really not up for it. Run off, now before I change my mind."

She nodded, and gave a light smile as a "thanks" before taking off again.

I ran to the safe spot and layed there for hours, drenched from the rain. I leaned up against a rock, and slowly fell asleep, the rhythm of the rain bouncing off the armor relaxed me.

In my dream I was with Clove. We'd won the games, and we were finally able to be together. But she'd gotten "_sick_", and the Capitol took her away from me. It had been months, and I'd finally gotten the chance to see her again.

"Never give up, Cato." She said, as she took my hands in hers, "I believe in you."

"As long as you promise to stay with me," I bargained.

"Always," She smiled.

"Clove, you know I'm a fighter." I told her. She nodded, as if agreeing with me. "But without you here, I'd give up."

"Cato," She sighed, pointing to my heart, "I'll always be in here. Whenver you need me."

I nodded, as I choked back all the tears.

_Boom!_ My eyes bolted open as I sat straight up and looked around for anyone. I grabbed my sword, and got up. I stumbled over my feet a few times, drifting in and out of dreamland. I could still feel Clove with me, as if she were still here and fighting for her life.

"Cato, wait up!" I heard her call, I stopped dead in my tracks and spun in a complete circle. She wasn't there. I was hallucinating.

"Get yourself together, Cato." I muttered to myself, "Get yourself together. She's gone. Dead. Not coming back."

"What are you talking about?" She asked, "I'm right here. Cato, are you okay?"

"No, Clove!" I cried, "You're not there!"

"I am, though." She said, sounding confused. "Cato, what's going on?"

"You're dead, Clove! Thresh killed you, and now he's dead. I saw the life leave your eyes. I watched you die." I paused, collapsing into the dirt. "I can't do this."

I took out the last knife Clove had gave me. I needed to use it to hunt. After a few minutes, I regained control of myself and got up, looking for anything that was meat and edible.

After about 2 hours of hunting, I'd gotten 4 squirrels and 3 lizards. There wasn't much, but it was good enough. Well, more than enough for one night. I mean we are down to the final 3, aren't we? I began walking towards the lake, since I needed to fill up my water bottles before it was too late. By the time I got there it was already starting to get dark, so I quickly filled my two water bottles and headed back to my safe spot. I started a fire so I could cook all the meat.

I fell asleep after the 3rd squirrel, and I didn't even dream.

By the time I woke, the air tasted funny, almost dry even. My tongue felt like sandpaper, but no matter how much water I drank, the feeling didn't go away. I had quickly finished both bottles of water, and I felt like a bubble of water, but my tongue was still so dry. It's like the saliva I had was gone. I sighed and gave up, water was the last thing I wanted right now, anyway.

I started walking away from the lake, and after about an hour of walking, the arena got dark. I looked around, confused, because there's no way I was asleep for that long. But that's when I heard it. The growling, the barking. Then some dog-like creature lunged at me. I hit it away, and took off running towards the lake. Was that where they wanted us to go?

The growling stayed close, no matter how fast I ran. I just couldn't outrun them. But after I few minutes, one caught up and pounced on me, pinning me to the ground. I struggled and finally got free, but I had no time to get up, I was only able to roll over.

One look into it's eyes was all I needed. It was Clove. What did they do to her?

"Clove," I whispered, "What happened to you?"

I didn't do anything but growl and bare it's teeth at me. After a couple seconds of just standing there ontop of me, it finally did something. It reached it's paw out and scratched my cheek with it's long tallon-like claws. I could feel the skin ripping open as if it were being done in slow motion. I screamed from the pain, and quickly pushed her off, flipping her a few yards away. I don't care if she was a muttation, I could never kill her. I scrambled up, and began running towards the lake, with them following right behind me.

After running for awhile, I finally reached the lake, but they didn't slow down. Was it the Cornucopia? Was that where they wanted me to go?

My face was flushed red, I was exhuasted, but I kept running. I ran up the hill and climbed ontop of the Cornucopia before I collapsed, trying to catch my breath.

Twelve was still near the lake. Lover Boy was limping and his little girlfriend was trying to help him. Pathetic. They don't deserve this. Clove and I deserved this. _Not them_.

I can't do this anymore. I have no reason to fight. There's nothing I can look forward to when I get home now. I'll never be happy. I can't do this.

I give up.

I was slowly starting to regain my breath when the two from Twelve reached the Cornucopia and were trying to climb up.

By the time they reached the top, Lover Boy fell over clutching his bloody leg, while his girlfriend shot arrows at the mutts as they tried to climb up the side of the Cornucopia.

They're not going gome together. I can do one more kill.

After a few moments, I finally caught my breath when I leaped forward, grabbing the back of Peeta's jacket and yanking him back. By the time Katniss turned to look, it was too late. I was already in the position to snap his neck, already cutting off air. She loaded her bow and aimed it at me.

"Go on, shoot. Shoot, and we both go down and you win." I say sympathetically, "Go on, I'm dead anyway. I always was, right? You know, I couldn't tell until now. Why is that? Because she's gone? Because without her, I have nothing to fight for. Without Clove, I'm dead. But no, this is what they want. Isn't it?" I shouted, tightening my grip around Peeta's neck, "I can still do this, you know. One more kill. I can still do this. I can still bring pride to my District, not that it matters."

I felt Peeta's finger make an X on the back of my hand, but by the time I realized what he was doing, it was too late. Katniss released the arrow, and it stuck right in my hand, I shrieked and released Peeta from my grip. Almost imediately Peeta shoved me right over the edge, so I landed in the pile of mutts.

I cried, and moaned, and groaned, and screamed, but none of that helped. The mutts dragged me inside the Cornucopia, as they ripped me a part.

"Cato!" Clove shrieked, she sounded terrified and as if she were going through pure horror. "Cato! Fight! Don't give up! You can win!"

"There's nothing left for me back home, Clove." I thought, "You're gone. I'll never be happy again."

"Cato! What are you doing?" She screamed, "Fight back! You can do this!"

I shook my head, and the pain increased with each movement I did. The growling almost dissapeared after too many hours to count. But I could still feel them ripping me apart. Killing me as slow and painful as they could. I began seeing clips of my life playing behind my bloodied up eyelids. Like my first steps, and my first birthday, the day I got my first sword, training school, the day Clove and I became best friends, the day Clove got me my dog tag, the reaping, seeing the Capitol for the first time, the training for the games, forming the Career alliance, the interview with Caesar Flickerman, the games itself, faking an alliance with Lover Boy, the tracker jackers, Clove's death, avenging Clove's death and killing Thresh, letting the girl with the fox-like face go, seeing Clove in the Capitol's muttation, and being ripped apart by the mutts.

I'd felt a pang in my chest, and everything went silent and white. I couldn't feel anything. Was I dead? I sure hoped so. Maybe now I could see Clove again. Maybe we could be together in the afterlife. I took a few steps forward, but I get really get anywhere. There was nothing around me, except white. White walls, white floor, white everything. It was like being inside a white box, except there wasn't any end that you could see. I walked, and walked hoping to find something, but nothing changed. But someone appeared.

"Hey!" I shouted to them, "Where am I?"

"You're in limbo." The man informed me. "You've died and have come here. You now have to choose your path. Where are you going to go?"

"I'm looking for someone. She goes by the name, 'Clove'. Is she still here?" I asked.

"Yes. She's been here for days." The man answered, as he waved his right hand at the wall. "She's just in there. She has been refusing to leave."

"What?" I said, sounding as confused as I was, until I looked over and saw they had opened a portal-like door. Was this even possible? Whatever, but if that really was Clove, it didn't matter. I began walking and headed straight towards her, "Clove?"

"Cato?" She asked, turning around, looking a little dissapointed. "Why didn't you fight back? You could have won."

"Because you weren't there." I smiled lightly. "I wasn't going back home without you."


End file.
